To be loved

9:29am: So I am pretty bad about writing in this. Maybe I should do a weekly update or something. London was amazing. It is like a cleaner, friendlier New York except if you think the drivers there are bad, the drivers in London will run your ass over without blinking an eye.
I finally got a phone so the whole contacting my London friends because a lot easier.
I'll sort of give a day by day rundown of the nights events.
Day Two Night (Saturday 1 Sept): This was the wastedest night for me. I met up with Rachel and her flat mates at this sports pub called The Court. Long story short too much alcohol led to me being in disgrace... But I have a feeling I was not the only one. But I did cultivate a new love of cider.
Day Three (Sunday 2 Sept): I do not remember what I did today. I guess shop with Rachel and Kris or something.
Day Four (Monday 3 Sept): Today I saw Spamalot with Rachel and went out to the pubs and a party after. The show was amazing. Much better than I expected. Way better than the movie. After the pubs I went to a party and made a bunch of friends. Basically every non-theatre major in the FSU study program likes me.
Day Five (Tuesday 4 Sept): Today was quite an interesting day... Rachel and her flat mate Mark and I saw a ballet show set to the music of the rolling stones called Satisfaction. It. Was. Horrible. The choreography was bad. Most of the dancing save some pas de deux was not great. I kept thinking "I wish Emily was here. She would flip her shit." After I went to another party with Rachel and the non-theatre girls that love me. After we all went to a club called 101 and Rachel met James Blunt/Ron Weasley's love child. His friend Charlie hit it off with Rachel's flat mate Catie. After the club we all went back to Rachel's flat, talked a bit, and parted ways.
Day Six (Wednesday 5 Sept): Today was another great day of nothing. Random walking around London. Random exploration. I went to a cute little pub with some of Rachel's friends while she read and had a pretty good and tame time.
Day Seven (Thursday 6 Sept): Today was exploration day. I started off by opening a bank account in England but I don't think I am going to end up using that bank because of the big fees that come along with it. Banks love stealing your money. After that I walked to Trafalgar Square (sights of many protests and beautiful statues), Westminster Bridge, Ben Ben and Westminster Abby, and Buckingham Palace. Later that evening I met up with Rachel, tried to hoist my huge flowery bag to my hostel, and went out to a play starring Mr. Orlando Bloom. He wasn't very good, and his role wasn't very good either, but the rest of the play was good. After that we plus Kris, Catie, and her makeout partner Charlie went out to a fun gay club called the Ghetto. I met the man of my dreams but everyone said he was ugly... Oh well.
Day Eight (Friday 7 Sept): I went to Newcastle today. It was a lot easier than I expected. The shuttle came early and took a bit of a scenic route to the airport. It took us by Kensington Palace (former home of William and Mary and Princess Diana) and Hyde Park. When I finally got to Newcastle, the meet and greet people totally took care of my bags for me and got a free taxi to my dorm. Turns out I got a sweet upgrade to a flat with a private bath and bigger shared rooms. It is pretty nice. Newcastle is really cool. Walking distance there is definitely this outdoor mall with a sweet H&M!!! That is bad news.
There is also a gay club distract a sort of far walking distance away.
I hit that up last night.
Pretty fun.
Well right now Beauty and the Geek is definitely on BBC4. haha. I have a bunch of pics that I might post later.
They are all on facebook if anyone has that.
I am excited for the rest of the GSU-ers to get here so we can all paint the town red white and blue...

4:55pm: London day two
Well it has been a very interesting trip thus far to say the least.
London is a lot like New York except everyone speaks a different language not just from me, but from the person before them. It is crazy! So much more diversity than I thought! The guys are also very cute, and the accent just makes it hotter.
The weather is quite cold, which I LOVE!
Everyone dresses nice.
I arrived in London at 8am Friday, August 31st after about an 8 hour flight (not including the hour long random delay).
Customs was very quick and easy, so much so that I forgot to ask to get stamp allowing me to work part time. I haven't heard back from the guy in charge of the study abroad program to find out what to do yet... I hope I am not screwed because I really need a part time job!!!
I hung out with Rachel for a while and went out to eat with her friends from FSU. It took a while to get to her dorm because my luggage is huge and hard to handle. I am not looking forward to the trip to Newcastle...
My hostel is cute. The rooms are just small with a shit load of bunk beds. Every time I go to the bathroom there are naked guys just chillin- I guess Americans are more conservative than I thought. It is definitely part night club.
I hit up the bar twice. My first official legal drink was boring as hell- a vodka tonic with lime. But the rest of the drinks got better (Generator special- peach shnapps, vodka, sweet and sour mis, sugar; rum and diet coke).
After the bar, Rachel, her friend Kris (THAT Kris for those in the know haha...) went out to eat at a cute restaurant called Giraffe. I had a weird beer called Tiger from Singapore and this DELICIOUS, EXPENSIVE drink- it had vodka, champagne, some weird fruit puree, and fresh strawberries and blueberries in it.
After that was round two at the bar in Generator by myself (pussy Rachel needed to "sleep").
Haven't really made any friends here because most of the people in the hostel are traveling in a group and already have friends.
In my hostel are three German girls, three hot Australian men (I HATE you Ashton!!!) and me.
The Aussie in the bunk below me is very nice and chatty as hell!
I didn't get a phone until today which made yesterday even harder and scarier because I couldn't contact anyone. I still can't contact anyone in the US because I didn't buy any other minutes beside the free local ones provided. I will probably do that next week and call some peeps.
Actually it is cheeper to call me by like 20 pence (40 american cents) a minute. I'll post my number later.
Anyway, now I am waiting now for Rachel so we can make plans to go out tonight.
I made an ambitious to do list for the rest of the week here.
My parents gave me a sweet camera as a going away present so expect pictures when the internet is cheaper/free!
I miss you guys!

12:08pm: I'm leaving for England
in three days.
And I am excited.
And I am nervous.
And I am a little scared.
And I can't wait.
And I just want everything to be done and for me to leave.
And I want to know that people will be missing me terribly.
And I want to have 2 million dollars more than I have.
The end.
p.s. the new M.I.A. CD is fucking brilliant.

1:40pm: It's all over now baby Camritia
So I had a great time this week/end with Rachel and Natalia but now I am all depressed because
(a) Rachel is gone
(b) Natalia is gone
(c) Camritia is gone.
Here is how (c) went down. After the crazy Friday night Braves game/attempt at prom, I had to get my car washed for vomitron reasons. So I roll up to Champions and the greater asks if I am selling my car, which I kind of was, but it wasn't really on the market yet. So I told him that and he said he has 1g in cash for me. So yeah, we did the damn thing and now Camritia is no longer mine.
I get my new car hopefully before the week is up.
It is a 2003 Buick Century (granny central).
I described her to my mom as Camritia's uglier yet more practical sister.
Uglier because she looks a lot like Camritia except no sunroof, no CD player (in a 2003?!? wtf). More practical because she is in perfect condition and has 42,000 miles on her.
She doesn't have a name yet.
Any thoughts?
xx
Here's to you Camritia.
I'll never forget the road trips to Tallahassee, Columbus, South Carolina, etc..
I'll never forget the kissings, etc... in the backseat.
I'll never forget the trunk/console/glove compartment full of vodka.
I'll never forget loud music and dancing.
I'll never forget the cruising around Atlanta/Buford/Suwanee/Sugar Hill.
I'll never forget you.

12:43pm: no accent, no access
Generally I hate life in the suburbs.
Here are some things that make it tolerable:
xGetting out of the burbs makes Atlanta seem funner and cooler.
xThe Non-Sexual Life Partner (Rachel Cappy)
xMargarita funness at Cincos with current/old friends (also, see above)
xMy real cool friends
xThe fact that my friend from New York is visiting me in twoooo days!
xUpcoming Pride
xAlcohol
xDreams/discussions of England

11:33pm: goodbye intermezzo
hello Mellow Mushroom Hamilton Mill.
Yeah.
It's kind of weird.
Kind of fun.
xx
Generally, t.v. show finales suck.
I'm talking about you Grey's Anatomy
and Desperate Housewives
and even America's Next Top Model (even though Jaslene was my second favorite after Renee and I HATED the Russian, I keep wondering how Tyra can reconsile her whole Pro Curves stance she preaches on the Tyra show while the winner of ANTM will probably die if she doesn't eat something real soon. I mean for real, she's the skinniest.).
I am excited for the new season of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List.
She will make things right.
I am just sort of living for that right now.
xx
wow
my posts suck ass.
I have my plane ticket to England.
August 30th.
With Rachel.
xx
Oh yeah, I forgot this funny story
which may help in livening up my post:
I was offered $7,500 by a guy I know's brother to surrogate his child.
For real.
The end.

3:12am: A fucking true story to beat all stories
Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit the craziest story.
So definitely I had the craziest night tonight.
Like when I say the craziest, I mean most of you will think I am making this up
But definitely I am not.
Background- I am now a server at Café Intermezzo. Last night I served on the patio. I still pick up tour guide shifts. Every Tuesday I am a tour guide.
On to the story…
It all started out as a normal night. I was training this sweet, cute black girl named Jessica (weird… see below for why…)
All of the sudden, the manager Shayna who loves me told me that John Mayor and a party of 20 was eating at the restaurant. Now this isn’t the first time I have heard rumors of celeb dinnings, plus I don’t like John Mayor’s music even though I think he is funny. So I only got mildly excited. Anyway, around 11:30ish I went to the host stand to talk to my CI-bff, Whitney. There was this GORGEOUS(!!!!) Irish guy up there. At first, he seemed like the perfect guy- stunning, built, funny, cocky, and drunk. We did the whole witty repartee thing. But all of the sudden he got crazy. He told me he liked my class ring and I told him it was my bling. Then he whipped out this fucking gorgeous diamond watch and was like “this is bling lad.” He asked what my relationship was to Whitney and I told him I was her nonsexual partner. Then I told him I was her pimp. Then he got all weird and was like “can I trade rings with you.” I said no, but he gave me this cheap Chladdah ring anyway that he was wearing. I said “dude, I can’t take your ring” but he told me that it was worth all the luck in the world. He held my hand and told me that it was worth more than my heritage and that it was worth 1000 years of Irish heritage. He said that I should never take it off because it will bring me the best of luck.
Anyway, as soon as I (creeped out no less) left the host stand, Shayna came by and said “holy shit. Jessica Simpson is coming too!”
Now for some reason (I am definitely not a fan) I got so excited! I was going to be a part of fucking pop culture history- the coupledom that is John Mayor and Jessica Simpson!!!
So anyway they actually showed up and sat on the patio, where my section was last night!!!! [f.y.i. Jessica ordered the black bean burger (one of my favorites!), a diet coke (my addiction!), and Bosco (blah)]
And, after a night of sneaking peaks and walking by randomly, John and posse (minus Jessica) came up to get a tour of desserts.
He was so fucking nice and down to earth. And way cuter than I ever thought.
And I fucked the order up.
When I went to deliver the pastries (by the way bitchy Jessica who is not that cute in real life [proactive isn’t working honey]- she barely muttered a few words to me), it turns out I got one of his posse’s pastries wrong. I totally had to ask again which he wanted and he let me know very kindly.
And I couldn’t find the pastry that John wanted even though it was clearly in front of my face.
And the old guy in John’s posse was totally eye fucking me.
And I decided to dress cute for work and shower today.
So anyway, I fucking talked to and got up close with Jessica Simpson and John Mayor.
And I may have been disgusting and drank out of Jessica’s glass of diet coke after she drank out of it. I know. Gross. Hey, I was in the heat of the moment.
So anyway how weird is that!!!! The day I got a luck ring from a crazy gorgeous Irish guy who is probably bisexual and wants to hang out with Whitney and me, I meet Jessica Simpson and John Mayor and actually share words with them (mostly John).
Luck.
Of.
The.
Fucking.
Irish.
Wanna meet John Mayor and/or Jessica Simpson?
Oh wait, that is my fucking life at Intermezzo.
Never ever ever ever have I loved my job more than tonight.

8:34pm: I love Newcastle
Why do I want to go to England so bad?
Well let's discuss some things I learned in my meeting the other day:
xI can take all my classes on only one day a week. Which means 6 days for playing/traveling/"working."
xFlights are cheap in Europe. For example, I can (and will all the time) get a flight from Newcastle to London for about 15 dollars. I know. Amazing.
xNewcastle was listed as being one of the top 10 cities for night life in the world.
xThere are bars and pubs in the student center.
xThe whole city of Newcastle is basically in walking distance. When I say basically I mean all the fun parts or "the city center."
xIf I chose to work, I can work as many hours a week as (up to 25) and on any days that I want, and jobs aren't too hard to come by.
xEach semester there are three week breaks built in and as much as six week breaks in between semesters.
xThe suites I will live in will most likely have at least one female in it.
xThere is a huge grading curve. 70 to 100 = an A. I know.
xOne and a half hours from Scotland. About one hour boat ride from Amsterdam.
xx
So yeah after the meeting my parents are like "this sounds like your dream come true."
Word.
xx
So anyway an update on the work situation.
I am moving out of my apartment on April 30th which kind of sucks because I will miss living in Atlanta and especially living with Meghan.
So I was kind of not wanting to commute, plus I've been pissed at Cafe Intermezzo lately
so I quit.
But the manager that I gave my two weeks notice to was like "this is unacceptable. We can't lose you! What can we do to keep you?"
and I said, "well you can make me a full time server. And I'd like to pick up tour shifts. I'm thinking maybe 3-4 serving shifts and 1-2 tour shifts a week. And you can give me a raise."
And she was like "okay! done!"
And so it is.
Sweet!
I start server training tomorrow. I ran food last night. I only spilled one shot and dropped one cake and mixed up two tables. Not bad?
xx
To Rachel: I'm real sad I can't come to Florida this weekend.
I miss you real bad.
Happy soon birthday.
I have a present to give you in person.
Come home to me real soon.

1:18am: Southern belles in London Newcastle sing
I was going to do NY posting part two (blah blah wasted blah blah 10degrees outside so too cold to do anything but get wasted blah blah wine and good food)
but
I just found something out.
I made the study abroad program
which means
for my 2007-2008 school year
I will be studying
at the University of Northumbria
in Newcastle, UK (United Kingdom for those of you who don't comprehend acronyms)

I will be living in England
for a year.
I can't believe it.
This has been my dream since I was a little boy.
I'm living the European dream.

Bad thing- my 21st will be spent out of the country so it won't make much a difference
Good thing- I can start drinking legally on the plane and while lots of you will be stuck spending your 21st in places such as Buford or Suwanee, I have made plans to spend my 21st birthday in Paris, France with Rachel Cappy who will ALSO be studying abroad in London, England.

3:41pm: I know I need unique New York
New York trip 07 has proven to be quite the interesting trip indeed.
Molly and Allison went through a fun transplat
and accordingly, Molly now does not really drink (Wait, what? MOLLY? I. fucking. know.) but she does love to spend hours (see the plural, that means more than one) on the phone with her boyfriend and spending all day/night Saturday in the city with her sister without me. Thursday night and Friday night were spent with Molly in her room. Mark came by Friday night and we talked and talked.
And I remembered why I fucking like him so much.
And I might sleep with him tonight.
If not we are going out to lunch tomorrow.
Natalia came up late due to a family emergency but spent the day/night on Saturday (while Molly was in the city).
I also had forgotten how much like me she is.
And how much I love her.
On paper, Saturday doesn't seem very fun.
A trip to the mall. I couldn't get into the bars that once embraced me. I had to walk Allison's wasted ass back to the dorm. I got shit talked about at a random party all because I was "being too flamboyant" and "making people uncomfortable" all because I put a cup in my pants and pretended I had a massive weiner and my friend Nicole (who I stayed with on Saturday and also LOVE!!!) stroked it a lot. Really the girls were some of the ugliest girls I have ever seen and I think they were jealous of these three hotties that invaded their territory because aparantly they called Natalia a fag hag and she went off on their ugly asses and told them they were "wrecked."
But it was so much fun because Nicole, Natalia and I laughed. non. stop.
We were throwing out a joke a minute. I haven't enjoyed someone's company like that in forever.
Plus I think Mark likes me. He keeps calling me asking when I am leaving and trying to schedule time with me. And he tells me I can crash with him. And every time he sees Molly, Allison, Natalia, or Nicole, he asks immediately where I am and if he has missed me yet.
and he asked if I would give him a bee jay and he told me he misses me. And he such gave me his whole schedule so I can work around it.
Plus I went through two bottles of Grey Goose in three days. Wasted.
Plus at the shitty party Natty and I went into the bathroom and snorted xanex while one of the ugly girls kept banging on the door saying she was about to pee her pants. I told her I was pooping. Sometimes I said on Natalia's chest.
Plus after the party Nicole and I unleashed a legion of food and satisfied our drunchies like no other.
Plus the pre game party was banging. Complete with delicious drinks and even more tasty company.
Sunday I left Long Island after lunch with the gang (Molly, Allison, Natalia, Nicole) and headed up to Manhattan to stay in the financial district (downtown, by wall straight) with my friend Sophie who transferred from Hofstra to The New School (s/ash Eugene Lang College. You know Parsons School of Design? Where Project Runway tapes? That is part of the college.)
This trip would have been better had I not fucked up my back trying to hoist my 50 lb suitcase through a subway turnstyle. And yesterday I wasn't warmly dressed and I got caught in a snow storm. My nipples still hurt.
But I am loving Manhattan. I went shopping. I bought cute shirts and boxer briefs from H&M. Later today I plan to buy things for those who asked me to buy things for them. I can't see any shows because there are no matinees on Monday or Tuesday and Sophie gets up early to work / study / do school so she can play with me at nights.
Oh well.
Last night we went to her friend's house and played drinking games. I met the only girl who has beat me at Never Have I Ever (but only because she is bi). I got wasted off wine and beer. I told the doorman that I was Sophie's boyfriend.
I made a shit ton of drunk dials and basically had softcore phone sex in front of Sophie and her roommates.
Anyway Sophie just called for me to meet her
so to be continued y'all.
The moral of this story is fuck expectations because the ones I had turned all topsy turvy. But fun is still being had.
p.s. it's like 20 degrees. boo.

7:30pm: I hate february
I was going to post this cutesy post of how I had so much fun at the Athen's party the other day and how bad I can't wait for Spring Break
but
my papa is having open heart surgery tomorrow.
Today my mom called to tell me that they found 90 percent blockage in one artery and 70 percent in the other.
Before that I had no idea that he had any heart issues, because he is the most active older person I've ever met.
Logic tells me that he will be fine. People survive open heart surgery all the time, and the doctors feel strongly that he will be back to normal or better than normal after the surgery.
But I'm not fucking logical.
My Mimi died at the end of February 6 years ago 72 hours after being admitted to the hopsital (albeit for an unrelated issue) and she was the most active woman I had met.
So I have all of this inside me.
And all I want to do is go out or have someone hold me or drink or something. Anything to just take my mind off everything or to let me pour my heart out to someone.
But I have no one here with me right now.
This has led me to realise that I take precedence in no one's life except maybe my family and maybe Rachel (who lives in Florida).
Meghan is with Bradd (I used to think we might be on an even playing field but now I realise that he will always be way more important to her than I am. I hate that.).
Emily R is so distant (emotionally- she's supposed to be my best friend but things are just so awkward around us- like I have no place in her life anymore- if she reads this, which I doubt, as far as the whole xmas present thing, it is so far from being about the money or the gift, it is the fact that I wasn't even thought of).
So these are my 3 best friends. 1 can't be here for me and 2 won't (I haven't asked Emily but I don't even think I could, which is such a sign).
I used to be so important to so many people, or so I thought.
So here is my pity me entry.
I should whipe the tears off the keyboard and finish watching my last Buffy dvd.
or do some homework.
Can March just be here now. Please.

3:06pm: death and life
I am really sad over the death of my idol Anna Nicole Smith
yet I am going to use her example
and date an older rich gentleman.

3:29pm: I want a boyfriend.
Why?
Is it because I think a boy would complete me?
Is it because I need someone to take me out and wine and dine me?
Is it because I want someone to bang all the time?

No.
No.
And yes.

And actually the main reason I want a boyfriend is because as of late I feel... what's the worrd... perhaps unsung? or unappreciated? No not really unappreciated, more like second string.

I miss the days when I was the first one to be called to do something. At Hofstra pre fight pre molly's bf, I was the go to guy for fun. I had something to do or someone to hang out with every single night that I wanted to.

I'm still fun.
But I'm not getting called first. I'm actually not getting called at all by some people- even by some of my bffs, who are in part the reason I am back in Georgia.
I'm a small part of many different groups- the second string guy.

I want a boyfriend so I can be his primary.
I want someone who wants to hang out with me every day, or at least more than once a week.
I want to be his go to guy for anything.
I want to share his friends and him to share mine.
And I want to bang.
xx
Speaking of, Molly keeps swearing and promising up and down to come visit me, even giving me rough dates.
And every single time she disappoints saying that something came up or she is too busy with somethingorother.
I, on the other hand, have maintained my promises to her, even when she further disappoints by changing her mind. (she still hasn't paid me that plane refund money yet)
Nevertheless I really want to go to New York and visit her. Like A LOT!
And I was going to visit her for her birthday, but turns out miss Natalia was asked to party with her so she is going that weekend, and there is no way in fucking hell I will visit Molly when Natalia is visiting her.
So here's the question.
Do I raise my complaints with Molly?
Do I suck up my pride and still book a plane ticket to visit her and my other New York friends?
Or do I just continue with this non-action bullfuckshit?
xx
Thank God I have Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVDs to keep me company.
xx
p.s. I'm rockin' the contacts and I am thinking of doing some XTREME hair dying.

6:49pm: love me more bitches!
Even though...

xClasses started today and
xRound three of classes proved to be less spectacular than I hoped and
xGA State won't let me online to delete/rearrange some of my classes and
xBooks are expensiven and
xAll of my friends have gone away and
xI have to work tonight and
xMeghan is all about Brad until he leaves and
xI haven't even really seen her much this break or lately and
xShe has all the sudden decided to stop drinking (I give it a week)

Even though all of that...

I LOVE NEW YORK PREMIERE'S TONIGHT!!!
My D.V.R. is set for series record
and my heart is ready
to fall in love
all over again
with New York and her mama!
Work cannot end soon enough tonight
so I can fly into the arms of my beloved New York!



[UPDATE 1/9/07 @ 4:27am]
Holy.
fuckin.
shit.
I just watched I Love New York
and I am in love.
New York (and the gayest man ever) are in the mutherfucking house.
I'm kinda lovin' the crazy white boys Romance and Boston and 12 pack.
I can't fucking wait to see how things pan out.

5:40pm: 2006 quizes
Things of 06

[P E O P L E]

1. Best friend/s? Rachel Cappy, Meghan Murray, Emily Rowland
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? None- I seriously dated Big Steve, Little Steve (at the same time no less haha), and Ray
3. Lost any friends? yep- Natalia -> most of my Hofstra friends
4. Gained any friends? Sho did- Crystal, work friends, Zach and Ian (hehe), Meg's friends
5. Met a new good friend? hmmm not really. I became good friends with Mike Murray but I've known him for a while

[P L A C E S]

1. Went out of the country? nope
2. Moved? yes- Atlanta, GA
3. wanted to go somewhere and you didn't? France
4. How many times on an airplane? 2
5. Road trips? Florida to see Rachel, Columbus to see B, from NY to GA with Emily and my Dad, to Connecticut with Natalia, Molly, and Mike Madden, Hamptons with Talia

[Y O U]

1. Have you changed?: yes
2. New look? More of a refining of the old one
3. Any new additions? 1 + 3 all of the sudden = 52342 so I guess that is a new addition.
4. Biggest conflict this year? the fight with Natalia

[L O V E]

1. Did you get heartbroken? no
2. Who was your summer love? ew I hate the elle word- my summer date was Ray
3. Favorite date? October 14th. haha just kidding Miss Congeniality. I've had some shitty ones this year. :( Plus I was celebate for like 3 months

[S E A S O N S]

1. Favorite Season? fall
2. Least favorite season? spring- it is soo rainy
3. Good birthday? Awesome. Part one was a costume party at my apartment, part two was a friends party, part three was a parents party. WASTED.
4. Any snow this year? yep- in New York
5. Highest temperature? well my weiner isn't a thermometer so I don't know.

[F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S]

1. Snuck out? lame.
2. Met a person who will/has change(d) your life? nottt
3. Kept your resolution? I never do
4. Got arrested? no
5. Had a first something? yes
6. Drank Alcohol? haha duh
7. Smoked weed/drugs? yup
8. Did anything illegal? see questions 6 and 7
9. Kissed a boy/girl? both actually
10. Had/have a crush? yes
11. Liked someone? yes
12. Lost a family member? no
13. Got bad grades? I got a C in physics :( other than that all A's
14. Suspended? no
15. Moved states? yes
16. Got a myspace? had it
17. Started a band? haha Megasis
18. Spent over 1 million dollars? in my dreams
19. Went streaking? hahahahahahaha
20. Done something you shouldn't have? always
21. Kept a secret? I suck at that
22. Told a secret? of course
23. Done something you totaly regret? not really
24. Changed your view on things? not sure- I'm sure I've reevaluated things
xx
The Year in Review

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
Drank at my parents house with them there, snorted concerta, a semi threesome, a few other things I'm sure

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
definately not

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not really close to me but acquaintances did give birth

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nope

5. What countries did you visit?
The Yew Esse of Aye.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
Maybe a relationship. Lots of money.

7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 21st- moved to my apartment

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
good grades in college

9. What was your biggest failure?
break-ups, relationships, family fights

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Knee-gate 06

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Rachel and Barrett for doing well in school, Brangalina for adopting kids and Brangalina and Charlize Theron/Stewart Townsend for saying they will not get married until it is legal for gay men to get married

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Natalia and Talias

14.Where did most of your money go?
food, alcohol, clothes. in that order.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing Daniel V in New York, playing in New York in general, parties (such as my birfday), possible study abroad in England

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?
"Fergalicious" Fergie

17. Compared to this time last year, you are:


ii. thinner or fatter?
same

iii. richer or poorer?
richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
spending time with friends and family, studied in college

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I should say drinking but I won't. Instead I will say eating and spending money.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
spent in SC

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?
fuck no

23. How many one-night stands?
quite a few

24. What was your favorite TV program?
America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, Desperate Housewives, Flava of Love Golden Girls, Will and Grace

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yes

26. What was the best book you read?
David Sedaris "Me Talk Pretty One Day" or Leopold von Sacher-Masoch "Venus in Furs"

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Knife, Cocorosie

28. What did you want and get?
friends, apartment, job

29. What did you want and not get?
a relationship, a hotter bf for my sister, more/better time with GA friends (Emily Rowland I'm talking to you)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Little Miss Sunshine, Descent, Borat, Dreamgirls (can't choose)

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had a shit load of parties in my apartment and I turned 20

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
not fighting with my New York friends

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Layering, cute jackets and accesories, turning pants into shorts and manpris, homeless chic

34. What kept you sane?
My friends, family, and alcohol

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Oprah

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
gay marriage as always

37. Who did you miss?
My Mimi, Molly

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Crystal

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:
don't throw up on people's car windows, don't leave the scene of an accident if you get hit (even if it is a small hit)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
What ever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, the evening t.v.
You miss your old familiar friends, waiting just around the bend
hahahahahaha

3:02pm: xmas has given me
sweet new things for my apartment
malice towards the customers of Cafe Intermezzo
and the ability to masterfully fake surprise/happiness
xx
Merry XmasX
xx
Wanna come to my sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet New Years Eve party at my parents house in Buford?
Okay!
Just r.s.v.p.
and bring some alco or mixers.
I'll have some, but I don't want to run out.

3:03pm: Roommate Application
Okay well over xmasx break my friend roommate will be either
(a) in Chicago
or (b) at her BOYfriend's in Suwanee, Jorgejuh and he doesn't like me very much.
Therefore, I will be in need of a roommate.
This position is both part and full time.
Don't worry about any bills- Meg and I still have that covered.
You can sleep with me or on the futon or in Meg's bed if she isn't there.
All you need to do to win this dream job is answer these questions:
1. Are you cute?
2. Do you enjoy drinking from time to time?
3. Do you enjoy shopping for self and others?
4. Do you like to go out to eat or stay in and order food?
5. Do you enjoy watching crazy t.v./movies?
6. Are you funny?
7. Am I funny?
8. Do you like such things as boared games and drinking games?
9. Can you watch Sex and the City while drinking boxed wine/martinis on a whim at any moment in the day?
10. Do you stay up late and get up at noon?
11. Do you enjoy gossiping, gossip websites such as pinkisthenewblog.com, talking about sex, and reading sex collumns such as Savage Love?
12. (a) Do you sometimes watch and love t.v. shows you watched as a child such as Full House, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and Boy Meets World?
(b) If you do watch Full House, is Kimmie Gibbler your favorite?

If you answer no to more than four of these questions, forget it dude.

K get this to me ASAP
with dates of availability
and I'll let you know.
Bi.
thanks.
xx
Also, if you are in town and want to play, so do I
so let me know when/where/what.
I love parties so let's have some
or let me know what ones are going on!
xx
oh yeah, does someone want to go XmasX shopping?

2:42pm: There's no way I'm living without you
This is the gayest
but watch this

and go here and click on "And I Am Telling You"
http://music.aol.com/songs/new_releases_full_cds.adp?defaultTab=3

As parents' preacher would say, if this doesn't light your flame, your log is wet.
xx
Things I presently want out of life:
x A new car
x To watch the America's Next Top Model Finale tonight white eating Chinese food
x To drink boxed sangria or Lady V with anyone (esp. Crystal and Meg, but that is impossible because good ole' Brad is in town which means I am roommateless for the next two months- I still have Crystal though).
x To play with Rachel and Molly (we finally made up)
x For school to be dunzo
x For I Love New York to be on
x To not be used by people I love
x To not be hated by people who have no reason
x The new Gwen Stefani album "Sweet Escape" (on my to-pick-up list for this afternoon)
x For work to be accommodating to my dance schedule
x To not feel so blah
x To hurry up and live in Europe
x A boyfriend
xx

4:08pm: I know he thinks you're fine and stuff, but does he know how to wind you up?
ATTENTION ALL FLAVOR OF LOVE FANS!!!!!!!!!!

According to New York's myspace bulletin (yes, we are friends. I'm thinking of putting her in my top 8- you see, myspace is good for something besides masturbation fodder for child predators)
I Love New York airs January 10th, 2007
on VH1!!!
I have a feeling that this will be my new favorite show.
xx
Beacuse I haven't seen my bff / dearest roommate in like more than a week, I have had no one to bitch about work to.
So, my friends, you get to hear about the awfulness of last night
that honestly almost brought me to tears for some odd reason.
Okay first off, I worked last night from 9pm-3am.
I considering calling in sick in order to attend K Moo's krunkasfuck birthday bash.
But no. I thought- "I kind of miss work. Plus I need some cash money real bad."
Well I made one whole dollar. I had three to-go orders (the orders that tip me) and none of them tipped. One waitress friend of mine gave me a pity dollar.
Now let me tell you about the weirdness.
One guy came in with a big duffle bag and asked if I owned the place. I was like "haha I wish."
He said "well you just know so much"
and I just casually replied "well I know everything!"
Then he said "if you could do anything in your life, money is no object, what would it be"
Now I am used to being asked odd questions, so I answered truthfully and said "write poetry."
Still not too weird... but wait.
Then he says "what kind of poetry" and I told him "free, blank verse" and he said "tell me some" and I said "you can't put me on the spot like that" so he starts saying that he knows people in France that will publish me tomorrow if he calls them.
(at this point I know he's crazy)
He gets on the phone and starts telling me how his life is in danger because someone threatened him. But he was like "don't worry, the guy is in Florida so you are safe here."
Then someone got the GM and he escorted the guy out or something.
Okay right after that happened, weirdo number two came by.
This guy came over with what I assumed was his daughter.
He asked if she could get a hot chocolate before they sat down and I was like "sure, let me get that for you."
Then he said, "I want you to know, this is not my date."
And I just laughed and smiled.
And he was like "no! It's important for you to know that this is my daughter and not my date."
So I shrugged and rang up his order and he paid, but he kept insisting that this girl was his daughter and not his date.
And in my head I was like "whoa. me thinks thou dost protest too much bitch."
But I just smiled.
Note to the world.
There are some things you don't joke about, especially to strangers.
One of those things is child molestation (ignore that crack up there about child predators then haha).
But seriously he freaked me out so bad I almost cried when I got home.
So I sometimes hate Cafe Interfreako.
xx
I get to see some of my bfffffffffffffs today!
WOOO HOOOOO!
xx
oh wait, I shouldn't be on here / watching Charmed.
I should start the paper and 10 source anotated bibliography that is due on Wednesday.

7:20pm: In the past week
I've traveled to Columbus to see B, Mandi, and their play (good job cutes),
traveled to Florida State to play with my bffl Rachel and her friends (mostly Jana haha)
and see her play (the best chandelier drop EVER)
and decided to apply to study abroad
which means next year
for a whole year
I will most likely
be living in Northern England (North umbria)
for free (paid for by HOPE for all English majors)
Holy shit.
How could that be better?
Rachel will most likely be living in London England for the first semester of that year
for her school's travel abroad program.
Holy shit.
p.s. I can't wait for this semester to be over
p.p.s. I love the new Damien Rice CD. 9 crimes and elephant arrr muh favorite.
p.p.p.s. If you love SNL as much as me and saw the one with David Spade, you will understand this:
MIKE YOU'RE NUMBER ONE!

9:05pm: Love Ridden
Can you explain this situation for me because I am fucking clueless...

Ian: I miss New York and you so fucking much.
Molly: You should come up this weekend or next.
Ian: haha good call. I will just fly my personal jet.
Molly: No I am serious.
Ian: hm... definitely not this weekend but I am actually considering next weekend. Only thing is I have to work. and money.
Molly: Well price plane tickets and ask off work.
Ian: hmmmm.... why the fuck not! I only live once.
*here, Ian procedes to look up plane information, finds a good deal, asks Molly is able to pick him up the day he flies in and out, asks off work at the chagrin to his employees since it was a bit last minute, and books his plane tickets*
Ian: Molly! You will never fucking believe it! I am going to see you in one and a half weeks! I can't even believe it I am so excited!
Molly: Awesome! So you booked the ticket?
Ian: yep!
Molly: okay I gotta go to sleep!
*Molly hangs up the phone and begins to send Ian text messages*
Molly: Allison (molly's roommate and a former friend of mine at Hofstra) is kind of freaking out because that is the week of her dance receital. She can't have any distractions.
Ian: Fuck Allison. Tell that bitch it is not all about her. I have tickets and nothing will stand in the way of me seeing you and playing with you.
Molly: Okay. I just don't want there to be drama.
*few minutes later)
Molly: I am really busy that weekend. Can we do this another weekend?
Ian: uh, no. If we don't do this now, I won't be able to go to New York until February. Plus I already have my ticket.
Molly: Sorry. I just have a lot of studying to do. I can't see you that weekend. I just got too excited over the possibility.
Ian: Are you fucking kidding me?
Molly: no. sorry.


This is all happening after I am telling Meghan how bad I need to escape and go to New York.
So honestly, what the fuck is the deal?
I haven't been so hurt by a bffl since that issue with Natty last year.
So I am canceling my ticket and I have an alternate surprise plan of action for that weekend if I can still get off work.
xx
So that and other things have rendered me completely blue.
Please someone cheer me up.

2:11pm: Last night I had a dream that I was eating at Cheesecake factory
and Oprah came in and ate with me
and we became best friends.
Then Mya Angelou sat down with us and I said, "is Toni Morrison coming"
and she said, "I invited her but she is busy."
Then I left and got drunk.

hahaha.
I love my dreams.
And I love my Oprah.
xx
I really like you if your name is Emily and you played with me on Wednesday night.
I really miss you if your name is Molly Berwanger or Rachel Cappy.

10:10pm: Maybe it's time to be clear about who I am
I am someone who is looking for love.
Real love.
Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.
And I don't think that love is here.

Sometime's you take the words right out of my mouth Ms. Carrie Bradshaw.
xx
You wanna know who I really am?
Yeah so do I.
Yeah so do I.

Sometime's you take the words right out of my mouth Mr. Saves the Day
xx
You will be aware of an absence, presently,
Growing beside you, like a tree,
A death tree, color gone, an Australian gum tree ---
Balding, gelded by lightning--an illusion,
And a sky like a pig's backside, an utter lack of attention.

Sometime's you take the words right out of my mouth Mrs. Sylvia Plath
xx
Have you ever felt discontented?
Disenchanted?
Disheartened?
Yeah I kind of hate it.
I love Meghan.
I like living here with her.
I would hate not being with her.
But something is missing.
Something big.
And I don't know what it is.
But I am not completely happy with how things are.
I think it may be the fact that I don't feel completely at home anywhere I've ever lived.
Can I be at home somewhere other than Georgia without aching so for my friends?
Sometimes I just want to start over and go on extreme makeover and get a whole new look and change my name and move and change everything about me just for the sake of change.
Maybe I am just unhappy with the stagnancy of Atlanta that I have allowed myself to get into.
Maybe I need new friends and new adventures.
Maybe I shouldn't think or feel so fucking much.
Yeah that's it.
xx
By the way, I almost got arrested the other day thanks to Meghan's brother and her friends
and the disgustingly fucking rude assholes that live below us that have no concept of having fun on a weekend even though they are college (albeit tech) students.
So no more parties at my apartment or else I will get a 100 dollah fine and possibly evicted (?).
Think I'm kidding?
I only wish I were.
xx
Happy belated birthday to myself.
My birthday present to myself- some good CDs and maybe a personal trainer. I'm still looking into this.
Also, happy belated congrats to Jeffrey on PR (kind of deserving)
and Deelishis (boo! I fucking love New York) on FoL.
xx
I wrote this.
What do you think?

Sometimes the world seems a bit too heavy
Like the great boulder weighing down on Sisyphus’s shoulder
Or the expanse of the globe on Atlas’s shoulders
But I can’t live in the perpetual moment
Acquiescing blindly to The Control
Nor can I remain unmoving
Instead I curse
And shrug
And risk the world breaking into a million pieces
As if I had thrown bottle of vodka at my mirrored face.

12:02pm: Grey Goose Got Ya Girl Feelin' Loose
Lately I have decided that a remarkable number of my friends from back home are quite assholes.
Why is it that Meghan Murray's brother and his friends will come and visit me every single weekend that they can, yet some of my very good friends can't find the time to make it down here.
As Meghan pointed out
My old house was about 30 minutes north of Suwanee.
You could get there in about 25 minutes if no traffic.

My new apartment in the city is 30-35 minutes South of Suwanee.
You MIGHT be able to get there in 25 minutes without traffic.

Why do people think it is forever away? Why don't people get that?
And why do people say they will come over when they have no plans to whatsoever?

Isn't Atlanta the place people should want to go? What the fuck is so awesome about Gwinnett? I lived there for 19 years and I can tell you- not a hellofalot.
xx
Okay, okay enough bitching.
Some of my friends have been quite awesome at coming down to visit during parties
and understand that it is hard for me to get up there thanks to my work schedule, although I have been up a few times and if I have something I am invited to up there, if I am available, I say I go and (what a concept) actually go!
ANYWAY
Here is a chance for you slackers to redeem yourself.
I am having an amazing party next weekend.
What day?
Fuck days bitch!
Try the whole weekend!!!
Friday the 13th- Birthday party part one- the costume party
Saturday the 14th (my birthday!!!)- Birthday party part two- the dress cute party
Picture it-
my apartment in Atlanta (the address is 552 Mcafee St., Atlata, GA 30313 in case you need to mapquest it)
Highi End Lady V and her friends maybe including Champagne (oh yeah, B.Y.O.A. if you can)
Cheesecake
Candy
Dirty dancing
Crazy music
ME!

BE THERE BITCHES!
xx
Just so you know
I fucking love Project Runway, America's Next Top Model, Desperate Housewives, Greys Anatomy
The Checkers rap cat commercial, the singing hoverround commercial, the cat who can't find his litterbox commercial
Meghan my roommate, her brother and his friends, work and those friends
and living in Atlanta in general.

5:21pm: does that make you crazy?
I haven't posted in like 12341 years.
Just to make you jealous:
my apartment is awesome.
my roommate slash best friend Meghan is awesome.
I work at Cafe Intermezzo.
I have the best parties all the time.
xx
I miss Rachel.
xx
Today, walking to this restaurant that is like a million miles from our apartment,
Meghan, Mike (her brother), Stephen Krieger, and I found a purse
with $107 in ones.
We bought a shit ton of pizza
and split the rest.
xx
The end